Mary Dobson, MA, LMFT, CEDS
Here in the heat and the heart of summer, some clients and community members have reported facing internal struggles with body image. We’ve listened to clients share their goals of achieving body positivity, and difficulties achieving this aim. The Lift team would like to introduce a new concept (or remind you of one you may have forgotten,) by suggesting our clients consider embracing body neutrality over body positivity.
We sat down with Lift's own Andrea Ciarlelli, LMFT & licensed body positive facilitator, and asked her to walk us through the difference between these two concepts. The following is what she had to say.
First of all, let’s go over the root of the term body positivity. The origins of the body positivity movement date back to the Fat Acceptance movement of the 1960s. The idea of ending fat-shaming served as the seed of a larger project of accepting and celebrating all bodies and body types. The Fat Acceptance movement was actually originally founded by fat, queer, black women, who wanted to liberate marginalized people and bodies.
Today, many public-facing fat-acceptance advocates, including Lizzo, argue that the modern body positivity community excludes the voices and groups instrumental in its development, including larger people, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and people of color. Some argue the body positive movement has been co-opted by mostly cis, thin white women.
People of every size can and certainly do at times have body image issues (especially, but not exclusively, those with body dysmorphia or eating disorders), and there are many people without lived experience in fat or marginalized bodies who have contributed to the body positivity movement, so there should be space to recognize their contributions. At the same time, individuals with larger bodies and marginalized identities such as the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities cannot be left out of these conversations. While we commonly first think of body positivity in terms of body acceptance, there are concepts like body neutrality and Body Trust (TM) that are likely more inclusive to all.
So, what is body neutrality and how can it be helpful? It's important to remember that whether an individual suffers from an ED or not, some days, we will not feel good or accepting about our bodies, and that is okay! Many of us have weight that fluctuates daily, monthly, or over life cycle, depending on hormones, age, metabolism, pregnancies, and activity level. We also all have days when self-esteem and self-love are lower, due to reasons related or not related to how we feel about our bodies. For example, if someone has an argument with their significant other or roommate before a meeting, they may have a negative thought track prevalent in mind and view every interaction after the argument as a personal attack, which can lead to assumptions and more pervasive negative thought patterns throughout the day, including body thoughts.
We all know that toxic positivity is when someone is constantly trying to point out the good in a situation, find the silver lining, a lesson, etc. and cannot acknowledge that sometimes things are unfair, life can be hurtful and there is harm being done. It can be difficult for people to feel safe to be their authentic selves around toxic positivity as it is invalidating and harmful as it takes away one's perception of what is happening. Body positivity can have a similarly negative impact, and effectively shame or gaslight people out of having any negative emotions/thoughts about their physical presentations.
Examples like bullying and criticizing others are often given by clients. If a client reports having an "off" day, they may make comments about being unhappy in front of the mirror getting ready for the day, and log those thoughts automatically as a character deficit or being "disloyal" to their body positivity, when in fact, they just had an honest human moment of not feeling "good enough,” and were struggling with self-esteem and self-worth. We also see people living in larger bodies who endorse body positivity and/or body neutrality put down or bully others in larger bodies by making comparison comments and assigning hierarchy based on size or weight. This is extremely harmful as it is divisive to effecting change in fat-phobic, oppressive systems.
Body neutrality has benefits as it can be one tool in helping people find a neutral or accepting point of entry after having a lifelong experience of feeling uncomfortable in their body, not good enough, shameful or disgusted with their body. It can also help people seek community and have language around how to talk about some of these issues, specifically related to how we talk to parents, children, educators, physicians, etc. about bodies.
The Body Positive (TM) is a great program created by Connie Sobczak and Elizabeth Scott in "1996 to create a lively, healing community that offers freedom from suffocating societal messages that keep people in a perpetual struggle with their bodies." But the term Body neutrality could be more accessible to some people as they might not be able to hold both ideas- "my body" and "positivity" together for various reasons, such as trauma, distrust of the body, dissociation from body. Neutrality focuses more on acceptance of having a body and holding gratitude for the things it can do, as opposed to focusing on certain parts of the body and liking the way it looks. Both body positivity and body neutrality have blurred lines as some body positive work also focuses on gratitude for the body as well.
Personally, I recommend reading up on both body positivity and body neutrality and exploring if learning to implement either or both would be helpful in practicing for yourself! If you’d like to explore your relationship with your body/body image, I am a licensed body image facilitator and am happy to offer 1:1 consult to discuss developing a peaceful, non-judgmental, and non-reactive relationship with your body. To schedule with me directly, click here.
Click here for more information on eating disorder treatment.
